Eddie On The Clive James Show

(Clive comments on Eddie's leather trousers)
Yeah, actually they're PVC, they've gone beyond leather, yeah, PVC, which apparently gives you cancer. It's like cellophane, remember about five years ago, they said "cellophane, gives you cancer" and we went "but it's been on our sandwiches for years", and they said "cancer", and we said "ooooh", and then just carried on after a couple of months. Same with PVC, and I don't care.

(Commenting on farmers turning to growing cannabis because of BSE)
Yeah, they're growing cannabis. Well, it's hemp, apparently, which is cannabis, but really low grade, so you have to smoke a whole field to get the same kind of high as from half a lager, but it would be nice to go for it, just roll one joint, which is an entire field, yeah, and it's legal. Also, rape, the crop rape, remember when people started growing rape, and the country started looking amazing, this great yellow. I think we should just grow it for the colour; in fact, I think that's all they do it for, and I think there should be a red crop too, and a blue crop, all the colours. Imagine flying over that, really psychadelic fields, you'd get people landing in aeroplanes going "Britain is an amazing country....."

(Talking about sheep)
Clive: An unshorn sheep is a dangerous sheep...
Eddie: ...is a big sheep! Imagine a sheep after two or three years, it'd be like a huge snowball going around, just like Day of the Triffids, only different....